Saturday, November 18, 2006

Two Face (it’s long, but bear with me)

Isn’t it so weird how we can be totally different people depending on where we are and who we’re around? When I’m around people who I enjoy being around, I almost always have a good time, I feel energetic and great (unless I really screw up, which I’ve done way too many times). Then when I get home I feel awful. Everything comes flooding back; regret, loneliness, frustration, you name it. Everything that everyone goes through and feels like they’re the only one, I feel like I’ve been through. I have my huge problems, then I have my less critical but almost as painful problems and insecurities. I would go through the latter, but none of them are anything that have never been said before, and I really don’t want my sincerity to become something to satisfy people’s cravings for gossip. The last thing I want is someone to read this and think to themselves “Sucks to be him,” then either write some insincere rosy comment that took like 5 minutes to think of, or not write a comment as if they had never been here at all. I don’t want to seem selfish and self-pitying, because I know that I’m not the only one in this fight. So here’s a shout out to everyone who’s ever been alone, who’s ever been furious with themselves, and who’s ever had crushing regrets. Here’s to everyone who’s ever felt hopeless, you’re not the only ones. We’ll get through this, but not without trusting in God’s forgiveness and the support of everyone else around us. If you know what I’m talking about, give me a little bit of confirmation. Write your sincere thoughts, and don’t conveniently act like you were never here. (you can at least write “no comments” though not preferably)

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

hear hear!

juliA

bex said...

when posts like this come around, I never comment unless I have somthing good to say. But Yeah I know how it is, and what you said is totally true. Thanks for the reality check.

Nono said...

Yeah I agree. There has been so many times I look back on a day and wish I could just relive it.

matanda said...

if anyone is willing to prove otherwise, they're just kidding themselves.

[♥]

aly said...

I agree with you all, but I do have one more thing to add. Ask yourselves am I looking to others to make me someone or am I doing my best to serve God and act as Jesus and built those aroud me up. If you need love take the time to be love. I struggle with that fact all the time, but it is not to say that we do not stop trying. Keep up the good fight guys.

Justin said...

I'd have to agree with everyone above my comment. Amen brother. I myself giving my problems over to God and let him figure them out. Its like giving God the problem and if that problem doesn't come back it was not made to be a problem for us to handle. Catch my drift?... well i can explain it better in person.

We're all porcelain said...

hooo-rah

Cherise said...

Okay - you got me. I was here! So I'm commenting. Mucho props to you for writing such a transparent post. Keep that transparency - it is a character trait that will open doors to deeper relationships with others and with God. We are all two faced in some ways, but true integrity is being the same person all the time. As you pursue God, I am confident that He will indeed complete the good work He started in you.

Joey said...

I feel so much better now.

bex said...

y? cause you're not the only one in the world like that? tsk tsk

Julia said...

Yeah Joey I know exactly what you are talking about. ummm..... I don't really know what else to say but i commented. Thanks so much for sharing that with us! And now i know i'm not alone.

Joey said...

bekah, I knew already, but it's good to get some confirmation and support every once in a while.
Thanks everybody.

SmallFri said...

Awwwww Joey!! Yeah your totally not the only one. Just hang in there...it won't last forever. Trust in God and He'll get you through. Just to let you know we're all in this "together"...I know exactly how you feel cause I feel it like twenty-four seven.

HUGS!!!

Beccah said...

That's a lot how I am. When I'm with my friends, I feel entergetic and happy, but when they're gone, all my problems show themselves. But, that's where God shows himself to be reworking and perfecting us. Have tons more to say but I have to go. Cya